Birthday Etiquette
by Heidi Hoff
Description: Teaching your children good manners for attending birthday parties.
Your child has been invited to yet another birthday party. Gone are
the days when she required you to stick around for the entire party
and now tells you that you can leave the second you drop her off at
the door. You secretly hope she remembers her manners and
doesn't take over the gift opening from the birthday child. The
only thing you can really do though, is to go over a few basic rules,
maybe engage in a bit of role play and then let her go!
Here is a basic list of manners your child should know when attending
a birthday party:
1. Make sure your child says hello to the parents as soon as
she's arrived. That way, they know she's there and may not
have to wait for anyone else in order to get the party started.
2. Have your child take off his or her shoes when entering the
house.
3. If there is no designated area to put the gift, your child
should ask where he could place it.
4. Remind your child that she is to be on her best behavior when
she's a guest at another person's home. She should use her
inside voice if indoors and not yell, scream or be obnoxious.
5. If your child becomes ill at a party, have the host call you
and immediately pick your child up. Make sure you write down your
phone number and put it in your child's pocket or on the counter
near the telephone.
6. Tell your son that just because some children may start
jumping on the couch or bed that it is not ok for him to do so unless
he has permission from the parents. Sometimes children behave at
other people's homes as they do at their own and may not realize
their actions are inappropriate.
7. Tell your son or daughter to remember their manners. "Yes
please" and "no thank you" should be the polite answer to
"would you like something to drink?" or "would you like a
piece of cake?" Instead of a nod or a shake of the head.
8. When it's time to open presents, under no circumstances is
your child to lay a finger on the birthday child's gift, even if
she is struggling to open it. Maybe your child could ask the parent
for some scissors to help snip a tight ribbon instead. Nothing
spoils the birthday child's special day more than having to fight
other children for the right to open her own gift. Remind your child
that she too will have, or already has had a birthday where she
opened all her gifts without any help from her guests.
9. Make sure your child knows that once the gifts are opened,
they belong to the birthday child and it is up to them to decide when
they will be removed from the packaging. Think of how the birthday
child might feel if after the party, all of his gifts have been taken
out of their boxes and are left strewn around the house. The gifts
have suddenly lost their newness and appeal.
10. When being served food that your child might not be familiar
with, teach him to say "no thank you" instead of
"yuck"!!! Not only will he seem rude, he may hurt the
parents' feelings. Much planning and preparation goes into
organizing a birthday party, and parents usually rack their brains
thinking of food that will appeal the majority of children attending
the party.
11. At the end of the party, make sure your child thanks the
parents and the birthday child for inviting her. Pick her up at the
appointed time and make a quick exit. The parents will surely be
exhausted. They may also have a family party planned for that evening.
One of the ways you can ensure your child remains on everyone's
guest list is to teach her how to be a good guest. You will know how
your child has behaved by what the host tells you at the end of the
party. If they sing your child's praises and are impressed by
his behavior, then you have done your job. If not, then it's
back to the drawing board!
Heidi Hoff is publisher of Preschool Planet, an e-zine for parents
and caregivers of preschool aged children. Articles discuss issues
that concern youngsters between the ages of 3-5 years such as health
and safety, crafts and fun things, book reviews and links. There's
even a section just for parents. Come join our world of information and fun!
http://www.preschoolplanet.com. Subscribe and get "100 Things to
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