Description: A humorous look at Father's Day and Father's Day gifts.

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You can tell it's almost Father's Day. The kids suddenly want to stop at all the garage sales.

Sunday is Father's Day, the day we honor dear old dad -- if we can find him. Good places to look:

- At the golf course -- in the rough.
- At the bank -- cursing the ATM machine.
- On top of the house -- trying to hook up the dish before the game starts.
- Under the car -- watching the oil drip.
- At the hardware store bragging to a total stranger about his kids.

I know what I'm getting for Father's Day. My daughter asked me what size aftershave I wear.

I always get aftershave. Last year I got raspberry. My daughter made it -- out of corn oil and Kool Aid. At church, people around me sniffed through the whole sermon.

Want to really surprise your dad on Father's Day? Ask him for advice.

- Clean out the garage for him.
- Tell him you love him a whole hardware-store-full.
- Ask him to autograph a baseball.

Last year on Father's Day we took Dad to an all-you-can-eat buffet, and then brought him home and sat him in front of an all-you-can-watch TV.

Dads don't return their Father's Day gifts to the exchange counter. This means fathers are satisfied with what they got -- or too ashamed to let anyone see what they got.

Joe Hickman is editor at HaLife.com -- http://halife.com

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